Sharing Dessert

The modern lover approaches dessert the same way they do life (the cereal, not the board game, which sucks). It should be poured out deliberately into the bowl of existence and then savored, not soldiered through in an act of self-effacing familial obligation. As such, dessert is best when shared on a date; to enjoy it alone is just a prelude to an intervention. Additionally, Candy Land is a way better board game.

Let it be noted, nay, heralded at the outset that chocolate is king; keep fruit for a festive headdress at Carnival or a meaningless gift in basket form. A chocolate dessert is the ultimate climax of any meal, and not without cause; it is, of course, an aphrodisiac. Regardless of where the evening may end, adding a chemical imbalance to any date is sure to be a boon to both parties (anyone slinging glow sticks under a strobe light will verify this). Tread carefully, though, because while aphrodisiacs are good, they must be properly packaged inside a Mile High Mud Pie, a truffle, soufflé or creamy mousse. Common slips in logic that ignore this fact can have briny, overstuffed consequences. Consider the following Aristotelian transitive property mistreatment:

Chocolate dessert is an aphrodisiac.
Oysters are an aphrodisiac.
Oysters are a chocolate dessert.

Negative, Spaceghost.

For those who do not chase the cocoa dragon, there is a plethora of other options that still fit the bill. Desserts are so vast they usually have their own menu and are oft times previewed before the meal in embalmed form. Take your time, and choose one both parties will enjoy.

When dessert is finally served, do not be the first to start eating. Always wait out your partner. Begin telling a story or read a text message; drop your spoon as many times as necessary. Winning this battle of the wills is key, allowing the victor the best opportunity to playfully intercept the opposing fork just before it penetrates the outer edge of your shared confectionery, earning uber flirt points.

To compliment the outing’s itinerary with a bit of sweet mischief, consider heading to a different restaurant for dessert, or carry your treat to somewhere outdoors for an impromptu picnic. If you can overcome the creepiness of using yum-yums to lure the object of your affection into the woods alone at night, a romantic evening of epic proportions will surely ensue.

EXCEPTION: Do not enjoy a dessert in Pankot Palace (chilled monkey brains, anyone?).