Flying Together

Flying Together
Those in well-functioning relationships are fortunate to find themselves mostly with their preferred company. This self-evident proposition, however, makes any problems with environment particularly frustrating (e.g., dining next to a crying child or taking a couple’s weekend trip to the Adirondacks and setting up camp on an ancient Indian burial ground). For quick relief from these circumstantial annoyances, the best advice is to go for a drive together or see a movie; when greater and extended change is necessary, you will often need to board a plane. Heavier-than-air flight offers a solution to the locational problem described above, but can present its own set of difficulties. This entry helps the modern stay romantic.


Too much weight is given to booking early. Romance is drawn from the last-minute and unexpected entering the familiar confines of a relationship, notwithstanding the obvious exceptions of birthday party planning and Chlamydia. Pay a little extra and use the momentum of surprise to circumnavigate the thunderstorms menacing every journey (q.v. Delays, Baggage and Mothra below).

Check In

Check in online if at all possible. This will give you time to share a drink at the Chili’s Too and steal away if the final act of digestion gathers. Remember, you do not want to reach POOPCON3 while seat backs are still forward.


Handling flight delays is an exercise in willpower, not unlike holding off self-trepanation when your little sister finishes the Corn Pops. To avoid distress, imagine the scheduled arrival time as your transcontinental junket’s due date. If the baby is delivered without major incident – early, on time or late – break out the cigars and Dora mobile. ¿Móvile colgante? Muchas gracias. At least you’ve made it together.

In the Air

Fill this time discussing the two volume biography of Abraham Lincoln you both just finished rather than stoically leafing through the SkyMall magazine (even if you could use a second Bacon Genie™). Avoid conversations with strangers by debating whether Lincoln could have entered politics without his successful prosecution in Illinois v. William “Duff” Armstrong. Wikipedia, and thus your author, is unclear on this point.


When packing, place one change of clothes in your partner’s suitcase; in this way lost or delayed luggage will not derail your plans for the following day. No joke here, that’s just good advice.


Summon Godzilla.

EXCEPTION: Free seat upgrades are mana from heaven. If only one comes available, bid adieu and save your partner a chocolate truffle.